I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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