Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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