Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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