he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
