someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
