We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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