Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Oh god it's open bar.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
