Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
