Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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