Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I need water and some morals
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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