Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
