that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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