Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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