RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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