Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i came on her dog
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
