sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
