I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The best revenge is premature balding
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
