I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
