I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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