Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
