hotel room ftw
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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