Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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