I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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