I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
