actually, I'm a sock model
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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