I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
