Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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