Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
smell my finger.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
