We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
