I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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