The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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