my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
