I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
