I wish I could punch you in the face.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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