I love black thongs
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
