When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
