just come out here and I will go home with you...
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You ruined the universe
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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