who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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