I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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