So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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