your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
