She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
