Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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