I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
