I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
