I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
