Girls should come with a carfax report
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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