You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
