She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
