Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
