Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
