If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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